In the photo above, printed without permission from Failblog.org, a yoga instructor identified as Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, touches the crotch of women in a yoga class. A poster on Failblog.org tried to justify Mr. Jois’s actions by saying that he “is an extremely skilled yogacharya, thus, people let him touch them in extra special, awkward ways. It’s “professional touch,” taken in the spirit in which it’s administered (not at all sexual or weird).” Uh huh.
We asked another yogacharya, Mr. Lusty Ramerdeep, if it was necessary to touch a woman’s genitals during a yoga session. He said “absolutely! It’s important to prevent the woman’s chakara (life force) from seeping out though her vagina. It’s even more effective if the woman is naked and lovely. I have private classes where the women are all nude and between the ages of 17 and 23. Even more effective than using the finger to prevent the escape of the chakara is to use my penis, which was created by Siva for just this very purpose. I don’t do it for my own pleasure, you understand. It is completely for the well being of my students.”
Right. These guy are obviously scumbags who use their position to cop a feel from women who are probably afraid to say anything, thus looking like noobies who are too ignorant to know that it’s normal for creepy old men to touch their snapper in a yoga class, when they should really jump up and gouge his eyes out. The Wicked Scholars are experts on Eastern Philosophy and are quite amused by the way it is often used as an avenue for taking advantage of people – whether it be yoga, transcendental meditation, yogic flying etc.
The Wicked Scholars are unanimous in their agreement that yoga is one of dumber fads to come out of sub-continent, and is one of the gayest things that a man can do. However, having said that, we are all considering becoming “certified” instructors ourselves, and may even invent our own style of yoga called Dikram, if it will allow us to grab a quick feel from some yoga hotties! Just remember gentlemen, that this is the sort of thing that goes on in yoga class. So, if your wife starts gushing about Dave, her yoga instructor, she might really be. . . gushing.